Quickly thumbing through his trusty stack of flashcards before settling in for an early night, Larry Stevens, 52, is reportedly looking forward to making a splash at tomorrow’s yearly check-up. The self-described “light of the waiting room,” Stevens, of course, has his usual arsenal of zingers ready to go.

“Scale must be broken,” “an apple a day, right doc?,” and some horrendous pun-ification of the word “patient” will all be making reguarly scheduled appearances during the appointment. The last minute-addition of “Mr. Stevens is my father’s name, call me Larry,” however, caught even the receptionist by surprise. The unsolicited flirting with each of three nurses did not.

Stevens, slipping out the door with a wink, and grin, and a handwritten reminder to fast before next week’s colonoscopy, is already looking forward to next month.

-Wells Carson ’22