Updating his profile picture to reflect the unnamed foreign baby he held on Tuesday, Peter Jesel, 21, glowed at the improvement he had just made to the world. “It may not be much in the grand scheme of things,” he said, humbly, “but to the children who now have an Artesian well, some SillyBands, and a new soccer ball, it meant everything.”

Judging by the nearly instantaneous LinkedIn profile touch-up, it looks like Jesel might have taken a few things away from the experience, too.

Admitting he never knew how well we all have it in Greenwich, Connecticut, Jesel added that it was “honestly pretty refreshing” to spend a few days away from his iPhone 6S, LandRover Freelander LS4 Series, 13” MacBook Pro with Core 2 Duo Retina Display, and, of course, Green Waxed Beaufort Barbour jacket. Despite not having made his bed or washed a single dirty dish in his 18-year preparatory school career, Jesel reportedly now feels “fully equipped” to embark on a full eight-week summer experience “turning those frowns upside down” in inner-city Detroit.

Confused by the question, Jesel rejected the notion that people around the Rockbridge area could instead benefit from his unskilled labor, and without a $1000 plane ticket to get to them.

“No,” Jesel added in a follow-up interview, “I’m unfortunately not available for Saturday morning’s Campus Kitchen shift, either.”

-Ford Carson ’18