Although the next issue of The Spectator, a Magazine of Alternative Fact and Opinion, will not be coming out for some time, a staff writer decided to share his forthcoming work with the Radish.

“Washington and Lee Hates Liberty? Dean Evans and the Liberty Hall Academy Fire” accurately portrays Dean Sidney Evans as an arsonist responsible for the nineteenth century destruction of the institution’s original school house. The author sat down with “numerous” “credible” “sources” with knowledge of the incident in question. Eyewitnesses put George Washington, Robert E. Lee, and horse Traveller at the scene as Evans set the wooden roof ablaze on that foggy evening in 1803. Evans’ hand in the fire is confirmed, the author claims, by George Washington’s discovery of a charred third year housing blueprint in the grass.

Following the incident, the author sat down for a joint interview with Lee and Washington to gather their opinions. The Spectator’s readership will be interested to hear that Lee would have enrolled in Liberty Hall Academy had the fire not destroyed the building.

The author further asserts that a January 5, 2017 broadcast email sent at 2:44 PM from the office of student affairs was a cover-up of Evans’ actions.

Illuminati confirmed.

Like other Spectator articles, the evidence is supported only by facts and almost all students agree with the author’s analysis.

-Wilson Miller ‘17