“Speaking Tradition” to be renamed “Acknowledgement Tradition” in order to accommodate less socially gifted students

Washington and Lee instituted the new policy after a new study showed that “how’s it going” is too many syllables for the average student to comfortably utter to a peer. “We’re all pretty stressed as it is,” Gloria Ingle mentioned in defense of W&L’s move, “and asking that question to someone and not getting a comprehensive report on their well-being really impacts my self-esteem.” Rumblings of changing the revised policy to the “texting tradition” have not been confirmed or denied.

–Andrew Coats ’18