Mock Con ’24 Invites IRA to Speak 

In a stunned auditorium on Wednesday, it became clear that Mock Con had accidentally invited the Irish Republican Army to speak, appearing to have mistaken the far-left nationalist organization with Irish supporters of the American political party. 

The speech, which was advertised as featuring conservative Irish-Americans working in the military, began with an unnamed man walking onto the stage holding an Armalite rifle and wearing a ski mask. He then screamed “Tiocfaidh ár lá,” a traditional slogan of the Irish independence movement, into the microphone.

After the initial shock wore off, the crowd began to get into the spirit of things, singing classic rebel songs such as “Come Out ye Black and Tans,” “Go on Home British Soldiers,” and “Kinky Boots.” The ceremony ended with a massive flag burning of the Union Jack and fundraising. 

While the vast majority of Irish people in Ireland decry the violence of the Troubles and the darker side of Irish Republicanism, support on W&L’s campus for political violence now rivals that of the most Republican pub in Derry. 

“I came to this expecting to learn more about classical conservatism,” said Tanner Greene, class of ‘25. “However, now I know the greatest political issue of our time is the reunification of our ancestral home! 26+6=1! Erin go Bragh!”

Mock Con has not returned requests for comment, though it is rumored they are working on inviting the 2020 Presidential Democratic nominee, Bernie Sanders, to speak at Mock Con 2028.