A Renaissance of Job Opportunities

The first thing Stanton Practor, ‘20 did when he found out about the Coronavirus was call his grandmother, who lived in an assisted living facility.

“I told you I would be useful! Who ‘should have been a business major’ now?” he said.

Despite her passing three weeks ago, Practor can be found on campus in good spirits. Practor, a Medieval and Renaissance Studies major, has seen an uptick in job offers and opportunities since the start of the COVID-19 pandemic.

“No one believed in me when I declared my major – not my parents, not my professors, and not my grandmother. Yet here we are – the economy is in shambles, and I am being contacted like crazy! Following my dreams was the path to success after all,” he said.

Practor, who specialized in the study of medieval medicine which was absolutely useless until exactly 10 months ago, has fielded countless professional opportunities.

“Museums have contacted me to set up an exhibition about the Black Death once a vaccine comes out. Halloween costume makers have asked for resources on how to make accurate plague doctor masks. One commune in the southwest even asked if I would do “traditional medicine” for them! Isn’t that wild?”

Practor, who is reportedly “stoked,” couldn’t believe his luck when the Coronavirus, which has killed hundreds of thousands, began spreading in Wuhan in January.

“You know, in medieval England, there was this concept called the ‘Wheel of Fortune’ that people would ride along, and fate would place them in their station I- where are you going? Aren’t I still being interviewed?” he said.

Practor’s story provides hope for the several dozen other majors in such a specific era of history who also are stuck with a $200,000 piece of paper, a deep breadth of interesting knowledge which only entitles them to mockery from STEM majors, and a lifetime of requests to “just get me my fucking coffee already.”