Franklin Petraefus, 19, returned to his home in Richmond, VA, to find an unexpected amount of maturity and experience awaiting him from his former high school acquaintances.

Frankin, a formerly mild-mannered young man, was excited to tell his “old best friends” how “cool” he had become, only to discover that each of them had stories to tell.

The casual lunch soon turned into a passive-aggressive one-upping competition, as friends battled with one another to find who had the craziest stories in contrast to their past personalities.

While Franklin led with his DFM at a band party, his friend fired back with a claim that he had streaked his dormitory. However, both were shut down when Harrison admitted he had taken a puff of the devil’s lettuce and coughed himself to sleep.

As the lunch drew to a close, each freshman quickly asked each other if they were still on track for Pre-Med or Pre-Law or whatever the hell they were planning before abruptly leaving to head back home and play video games.

“It’s amazing how petty gossip has been exchanged for meaningful discussions on life experiences and major choices,” Franklin noted. “It really makes me thankful for the uniqueness of my personal experiences these first few weeks.”

-Chris Baumgarten ’19