Under the approval of the Board of Directors for Washington and Lee University, architect-extraordinaire and W&L grad Samuel Silversmith, ’72, began to work on drawing up plans for the school’s new library, which will be built in a few years’ time.

However, fears began to grip the student body as Snapchats of the plans began to circulate, revealing that all outlets within the building had been placed behind desks, under carrells, and just out of reach of that really comfortable beanbag chair.

“It’s really a sadistic move by the administration,” said junior Bradley Houston. “Can’t they understand we need convenient outlets? I mean, we gotta charge our computers so we can be on Facebook and ESPN during classes, otherwise what’s the point?”

The school followed up student protests with a statement which claimed that “…at this time, you’re just going to have to deal with it,” to which all students let out a collective groan.

In other news, Samuel Silversmith let out a maniacal laugh as he completed another commission: new fourth-year townhouses with one room that’s much smaller than all the others.

-Chris Baumgarten ‘19