“It’s so important to me to focus on all types of students,” Professor Nort Pastan said to his distracted class, all diverted by their scattered papers and all sitting in respective semi-casual, not-too-revealing “Indian style” positions. Rotating between lying back on his elbows and resting his chin on his fist, student Robert Mubert reportedly “very much” enjoyed the grass stains on his one pair of blue jeans. Mubert expressed confusion as to why Pastan would consider moving away from PowerPoint, from which he delivers 100% of his lectures, even for the 55-minute class period.  –Ford Carson