Oatmeal raisin cookie looked an awful lot like chocolate chip

“I’m not even sure what to believe any more,” said a teary-eyed Lonny Jacoby, who has since been seen staring longingly into the distance from a friendless D-Hall table. One of Jacoby’s classmates recounted the ordeal, describing Jacoby’s awkward realization that he could not put down the cookie once he had touched it, find a charitable volunteer to split it with, or even locate water to wash down the sawdust taste afterward. “I’m fine,” Jacoby said, instantly realizing the weight of his own lie. –Ford Carson