If you’re a frequent gym-goer (or you’re a senior scrambling to get your PE credits), you may have noticed the LGHITETWOBAD (large-gaping-hole-in-the-earth-that-was-once-baker-and-davis. Yeah, that).
The current residents of Graham-Lees dorm never knew the place that was once the COVID-19 Quarantine house, and the rest of the student body never knew it for anything else than the COVID-19 Quarantine house.
In October 2021, The Board of Trustees decided they had enough. “F*** Covid,” they said in an official statement.
The board approved a plan that would tear down the sick house but would evidently build a new one in its place: the new Williams School of Commerce.
“Those business majors are sick, and I don’t mean that in the coolio-hip way,” said one board member. “This new refuge will provide the perfect place to keep their ideas contained from infecting the rest of the student body.”
Though there have been hurrahs from both business majors and normal people alike, some have questioned the cost of the demolition.
“I don’t care how big our endowment is,” said one student who wished to remain anonymous. “We could have used that money to provide dhall scholarships for the increased cost of a meal swipe.”
Steve McAllister, the Treasurer of W&L, asserted the cost was justified.
“Just think–when all the business majors are provided with a top-tier facility, they will be the future donors!” He snickered, rubbing his hands together menacingly. “This is another way to say that they will be the ones paying!”
Other students think that the demolition could have been conducted in more eco-friendly means. Students from SEAL observed that the resulted demolition uncannily resembled the aftermath of a frat blowout at red square.
“Those parties are literally earth-shaking. Just imagine a university-endorsed frat party. Kill two birds with one stone–er, I mean, feed two birds with one scone,” stated one self-proclaimed environmental activist.
President Dudley objected to the proposition: “At W&L, we have values. Sure students party hard, but it’s not like we endorse that kind of behavior. We only provide Trav to take them from Party A to Party B.”
Members of the Radish suspect that the location of Dudley’s house might have something to do with his aforestated position.
In a recent interview, representatives of St. Patrick’s Cathedral said that they would have co-sponsored such an event:
“While it would have been untraditional, we’re always looking for ways to reach the young people. The neighboring location would have made the best post-Mass mash.”
The Radish 